Topsy Turvy
by Gecko Osco
Summary: A oneshot for my first one hundreth reviewer! Insanity insues one night in the TTower with our heroes as they face riddles, mazes, waffles, bombs, and a Pyscho! Rated for slight suggestive content.


**A/N: **This is a reward for teen freak for being my first ever one hundredth reviewer! She asked for a Teen Titan one-shot involving a bomb, a Tower-turned maze, a psycho, riddles, and possible R/S fluff. This is what my brain and muse concocted! Enjoy!

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**Topsy Turvy**

It was cold and raining the night that Starfire found herself awake and trembling from a nightmare she had after a particular gruesome movie night. Beastboy should really never be allowed to pick the movies. And while it certainly was raining outside, Starfire suspected the main reason why she was cold was due to the immensely short shorts she had gone to bed in…but that thought was for another day. Deciding that she was not going to be able to sleep on her own, she decided to go and seek out Robin's help…whenever he started to talk to her about the importance of gasoline in motorcycles she felt the sweet call of slumber land beckoning to her. She was crossing the common room on her voyage when a sudden noise caused her to yelp.

"EEP!" she let out as she both sent a rogue starbolt ricocheting off the wall and dove behind the crescent sofa for protection, completely forgetting she was an extremely powerful alien who could probably beat up Mr. Universe with her pinky. "Is someone there? Please show yourself now!"

"Uh Star?" a high-pitched voice asked her as a green head poked out from behind the refrigerator's door. "You can stop hiding now…I just wanted to get a midnight tofu snack…"

"Oh, friend Beastboy!" Starfire exclaimed in happiness as she flew out from behind the sofa and landed incredibly close to him. "I am so exalted that it is you here! I was worried that you might be some type of…"

"Horrendous burglar?" a sarcastic voice asked from the opposite side of the room. "Well, if you forgot Star, we are superheroes…"

"But friend Raven," Starfire said in a hushed whisper, in case anyone else, namely Beastboy, was listening in on the conversation. "There are so many difficulties that villains may present to us…we must always have constant viligiance…"

"Isn't that from a movie…or a book?" Beastboy asked as he drifted over to where the girls congregated by the sofa.

"You read?" Raven dead-panned.

"What's the trouble Titans?" Robin asked as he triple flipped and roundhouse kicked his way into the living room. Raven rolled her eyes at the display while Starfire stared and slightly drooled at the media-dubbed 'stud-muffin.' (For the record, Starfire was still confused as to the meaning of the word, finding Robin to not be covered in small metallic points, or a small, cake-like pastry. Furthermore, she did not know why people would wish to ingest said metallic-pointed pastry.)

"Nothing," Raven began, trying to retain what was left of her sanity as she watched Beastboy eat his tofu in varying animal shapes, Robin roundhouse kick his way across the room, or Starfire mumble to herself about "metal-tasting muffins." However, this is the Teen Titans we are talking about so that could never happen.

"Yo guys," Cyborg said as he ambled his robotic form into the common area as well. "What's shaking?"

"Well…I do not feel the Tower we are currently in shaking as you say, but…"

"Try to take my tofu and I'll go T-rex on you buddy!"

"Please…can we all just go back to bed?"

"Cyborg!" Robin barked out loudly, causing all other unnecessary chatter to cease and desist. "Report!"

"Uh…well, I was having this really crazy dream while I was sleeping and…"

"No, no! Report on why you too have entered the kitchen!"

"Um…"Cyborg pondered for a moment before shrugging his wide shoulders. "I don't really know man, but how can you sleep in those steel-toed clod-hoppers Rob? Sometimes, it is all right for us to where normal clothes…"

"That is not the issue here Cyborg…nor is why I wear a mask Beastboy!" Robin shouted, effectively eliminating the retort coming from the verdant shape shifter. "This is strange though…we have all been woken up in the middle of the night and brought to the common room for a purpose…I bet Slade's behind this!"

"Uh, Robin?" Raven asked with a slight nervous edge to her voice. "Do we have to strap you down to a table again?"

"Oh!" Starfire exclaimed as she thought back to the last time Robin went delusional about their arch-nemesis. "If we are to reenact the scene, should we also rip his clothing in variously revealing spots as well?"

"I think Star's enjoying this a little too much for her own good…" Raven muttered to herself as she saw Starfire creeping closer to Robin with a manic gleam in her eyes, the raven-haired youth just regarding her with a blush.

Just as more arguments and ideas were about to burst forth from the Titans' lips, a maniacal laughter a puff of purple (light purple to be exact, like lavender and lilacs) appeared in front of the confused teenagers. A figure appeared from the smoke and the Titans' faces all, as one may I add, went from surprised to horrified to disgusted to bored in a span of ten seconds as the mysterious figure waited for the effect.

"Who's this psycho?" Beastboy asked Cyborg as discreetly as he could, which meant he yelled it across the room.

"You have already guessed it green one!" the man answered with a clown-like laugh and little jester dance. "I am called Psycho and I am your arch nemesis! Fear me!"

Well, each of the Titan's figured the guy picked a pretty apt name, but deciding that the only part of this guy they would fear would be his outfit. It was garish yellow pinstripe suit with a green and orange polka-dotted tie and black suspenders going over a rather large midsection. The man's hair, if it could be called that, was arranged like a top hat and was a hideous red color. And while the man was not wearing clown make-up, he was pale enough to pass without it and a large pimple resided on his proboscis to give it a red appearance. Age could not be told, but the teenagers decided that it really didn't matter at this point.

"Well, Psycho was it?" Robin asked in an arrogant tone as he crouched into a fighting position, not noticing all others but Starfire roll their eyes at him and his silly 'I will defeat you villain!' speeches. On the contrary, the Tameranean's emerald like eyes were shining in admiration, which only prompted Raven to mimic hurling behind the two. "I hate to disappoint you, but this isn't the loony-ward, even if Beastboy lives here (a distinctive 'hey!' could be heard in the background), but we'll be glad to give you directions! Titans, go!"

And they did in fact, "go" until everything around them was covered in the pretty lavender smoke, making the teenagers bump into each other a few times before all, even the dexterous Robin, were sitting in an undignified heap. When they rose, they were stunned to discover that their home had been turned into a giant maze! Now, how did their Tower turn into a maze you might ask? Well, this is where the muse explains in depth the reasoning behind this…take it away Kael if you don't mind. And no, this is not an introduction of an original character!

"No one would want me for an original character anyway…now, the Tower has been turned into a maze due to the magical, although quite useless, powder of the villain in this story, Psycho. He has no other powers but this…to turn homes into mazes and confuse his prey. And no, I do not mean pedophile like prey. If you all thought that powder was for appearing and disappearing, then you were all wrong. That is only a clever plot device used to give readers a bit of fright to see the villain suddenly appear in front of our heroes. Psycho is just extremely fast and can zip away quickly. And the Titan's suddenly know their home is a maze because…well, I don't really have an answer here, but they're smart right?"

Back to current events, where our heroes are still staring around in amazement that their precious home as been turned into a giant hedge maze, until a sudden sound to their left, your right, catches their attention. Glancing at each other in a worried manner, they all creep forward towards the sound only to stop when their way was cut off by an angry tree hedge.

"Well," Robin said in his hero-like manner. "I think the logical thing for us to do is to head towards the center of the maze. That's where the villain will most definitely be and then we can get him to change our home back!"

"And, you know this how?" Raven asked as a piece of paper floated down in front of her, falling in her open palm softly.

"In all the movies that's how you solve the problem," Robin shrugged as he, and Starfire latched onto his arm, started off down a path the small device on Robin's belt was beeping towards. He utterly ignored the gothic girl's eye twitch. "Titans, let's move!"

And they did, until they all noticed they each had a particularly well placed scrap of paper in their hands. They each opened their papers, reading their contents aloud for the group.

"I can sizzle like bacon, I am made with an egg, I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg, I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole, I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole, What am I?" Raven read out first.

"Oh!" Cyborg shouted out with a grin his face. "I know the answer to that one! A snake!"

When Raven inclined her head, Beastboy read his. "With pointed fangs it sits in wait, with piercing force its doles out fate, over bloodless victims proclaiming its might, eternally joining in a single bite. What am I?"

After a moment's pause, it was Starfire who exclaimed the answer. "Oh, I am knowledgeable! The answer is a stapler!" Beastboy nodded, but each of the Titans looked at the orange-skinned girl strangely as she blushed. "I once was in a disagreement with a stapler…"

"Okay…I'll go!" Cyborg said as he read his riddle aloud. "I travel all over the world, but always stay in the corner. What am I?"

"A stamp," Raven answered in a dull voice, bored with this game they were playing and really just wanting to go back to bed. The key to grumpiness throughout the day was lots of sleep…just look at little kids, give them more sleep, the never want to get up, but restrict their sleep and they're wild as tigers ( Let it be known, the authoress cannot say how wild tigers are, but she does like them so that is why they are mentioned.)

"Nodding, Robin began to read his aloud, "I have one head and three hands.  
What am I?"

It was Raven again who answered with, "a clock,"…mainly because Starfire was confused as to why Cyborg and Beastboy were giggling like madmen over Robin's joke. Kept saying something about how it was "one-eyed as well." Robin did not look pleased and bid Starfire to read her own riddle.

"Titans…what ticks and tocks but does not tell time?" They each looked at each other for a moment, trying to figure out the riddle when Starfire looked back down and saw there was more to her riddle. "Also, as a side note, if one does not travel in a pair than one may well disappear…"

"He's going to try and kidnap us!" Beastboy screeched out as his hands went to his hair. "Aw man! You know it's going to be me first! It's always the funny one who goes first!"

"Actually, the only horror movie rule on record is that 'the slut must die'" Raven replied calmly. "And if the first one to go is always the funny guy, then the murderer must have not found them very funny…but annoying one fits you too."

Each ignoring Beastboy's frantic wails, they all set off towards the middle of the maze once more, just chit-chatting about the weather and other such things. It wasn't until they no longer heard Beastboy's cries did they realize he was gone…maybe it was the annoying one who the murderer always picked off first. They pressed on, knowing that all the answers to their woes would lie in the center of this maze. Robin even suggested to Holy Grail or Slade, but Raven gently reminded the masked youth about the pretty straps and white jackets they might have to put him back in to shut him up.

While Raven and Robin argued over the importance of secret identities, Cyborg was lured off the path by a steaming plate of hot waffles…lots of syrup of course. Raven, knowing that she was next as governed by the laws of horror films because the directors love to get the non-slut female and disbelieving male alone together before the shit hits the fan, just sort of stopped walking until she felt hands grab her and yank her aside.

"Robin," Starfire whispered in a fearful voice, pouting out her lip to make her look vulnerable and demure. "I believe that the Psycho has kidnapped all of our friends but us! And we still have not solved the last riddle!"

"Don't worry Star," Robin said in a quiet voice of reassurance. "We'll get them back, I promise. Now, while we stroll here under the moonlight in a dark, concealing maze, how about we talk about our painful pasts so we have a really emotional moment. And then, after we've cried our hearts out, e can kiss passionately and realize our secret love for each other…"

"Okay Robin," Starfire agreed enthusiastically. "Well, I am one of three children in my family but all but my sister and I we killed when--"

"Star!" Robin interrupted as the pair came to a fork in the path. "I know that one of these paths will lead us directly to the center of the maze, and the other will lead us in circles for hours! We must use those clues the riddles gave us to figure this out!"

Starfire briefly wondered how Robin knew all of this knowledge, but she quickly pushed that thought aside as she listened to him work.

"Now, there was a snake, a stapler, a stamp, and a clock…all but one begin with the letter 's' so that must mean we use Plank's Law…"

Starfire let out a sigh as he started to talk science gibberish, but then something caught her attention from the right pathway. She went over and picked up what she knew to be one of Raven's shoes…either she kicked it off in a fit of joy or she left it for a clue! Starfire let out a happy squeal and turned back around to Robin.

"Robin! I believe I have found a--"

"…so then we take the fourth consonant of the twenty-first power…"

"Robin, I believe that we must take the right--"

"…and we know that Earth is a circle so…"

Starfire was sure that he was talking ONLY gibberish now, but she let him finish, knowing it was the only way to get him out of this state. She waited, tapping her foot against the ground and swinging the shoe back and forth, in front of the right path way when he suddenly shot up from the ground screaming "By Jove I've got it! It's the ri---"

"The right pathway," Starfire finished for him, enjoying the baffled expression on his face. "I have found Raven's shoe lying on the path…I was waiting for you to figure it out."

Turning quite red, Robin muttered incoherently and just grabbed Starfire's free arm before proceeding down the dark pathway. Just as the red-haired alien was about to continue talking about her past so her and the boy could get to the 'making out,' the two heroes found themselves in the middle of a giant circle…which was either a malformation of the maze or the center of it. They quickly got their answer when Psycho, in all his clown-like glory, jumped out from behind a hedge and cackled like a witch.

"I see you have solved the riddles young heroes!"

"Actually," Starfire said with a sweet smile. "I found Raven's shoe, so we took this path. Psycho did not seem to have an answer for a moment, but then he smiled again and waved his arm to his left, clearing away the smoke to reveal their bound friends and a bomb in the middle of them.

"Well, did you solve the final riddle uh? Did you, did you?"

"Oh, it was a bomb," Starfire mused to herself as Robin roundhouse kicked his way over to the villain and, well, roundhouse kicked him Chuck Norris style. "That was not a very good riddle Mr. Psycho. Friend Raven! I have retrieved you shoe! Would you like me to put it back on its proper foot?"

"Mmph mmp. Ummph mmmp mummh mmguh," was Raven's reply, which Starfire translated into: "Yes please my dearest friend Starfire. I would also like to go to the mall of shopping with you tomorrow!"

As Starfire freed her captive friends, Robin beat the psycho Psycho into oblivion, letting him know just how frustrated he was with his angry speeches and war-like battle cries. Starfire was talking with Raven on how happy she was that they were going out for shopping the next day, to which Raven gave her a confused look because she did not remember it freezing over in Hell recently. Beastboy bugged Cyborg incessantly as the robotic teen dismantled the still ticking bomb, and finally, the bomb stopped beeping just in time for Robin to finish having his way with Psycho…and not in that way people!

After the nefarious villain had been detained, the maze disappeared in a glorious poof of smoke and the Titans found themselves once again in their common room. They started arguing over who would take the Psycho into the police station at this time of night when the timer on the bomb began to tick again, causing five heads to swivel towards the beeping. The seconds slowly clicked away until it only showed zero on the screen, and then everything went black…

Well, actually, it went a lavender purple color as the entire room was now covered in frosting, which meant the Titans as well. Before anyone could say anything, Starfire leaned over and started to kiss Robin, saying something about how she wanted to skip the crying part this time, and Robin, it seemed, whole-heartedly agreed. Both Cyborg and Beastboy hurried out of the room to escape the spectacle of 'cootie swapping' and leaving a very green looking, eye-twitching Raven alone with the kissing fiends and tied up villain. Turning her head away from the display, she encased the Psycho in her black energy and marched resolutely from the room, trying desperately not to notice the slurping sounds and giggles coming from behind her.

"Why is it always me?" Raven questioned Psycho with a small shake of her frosting covered head. She decided to not answer that question, figuring the night had enough excitement for now…or at least, until tomorrow night.

_Fin_

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**A/N: **There you go…pointless insanity that was great fun for me to write! Plus, I put off writing my paper for a whole two hours! I hope you liked that Steffi! Thanks for putting me over the edge in reviews! Review if you wish, I really don't care with this one…I just had fun writing it. Until next time!

Osco


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